Defending the Caveman clears up the mystery

It seems there has always been the battle of the sexes in some manner. Of course, men are often referred to as having a caveman mentality, which is exactly the focus of Saturday’s performances of Rob Becker’s “Defending the Caveman” at the Fox Theatre in Riverside.

Cody Lyman, who plays the aforementioned Caveman, thinks the show is successful because it focuses on things that every man and woman sees and experiences.

“There’s equal jabbing of both sexes in the show,” he said. “I’ve noticed when a woman does something a man doesn’t understand, then it is mysterious. If it happens the opposite way, they think we are wrong. We are different but not weird. We were hunters, women were gathers. There’s some learning involved there and that’s the focus of the show.”

The play is a blend of stand-up comedy, audience participation and therapy session. There has to be something there because the show holds the record as the longest running solo play in Broadway history and has been seen in 45 countries and translated into 18 different languages.

Lyman got involved with the project the same way that often happens: he’s an actor in need of a job.

“As an actor, your thing is to find the next job and this came up, and I didn’t know much about it at the time, and I hadn’t seen the show,” he said. “I was cast by the guy who wrote it [Rob Becker] and I got a chance to see performances. To be honest, I didn’t like the way it was being performed, but I liked the idea behind it.”

He quickly became attracted to the role.

“It’s the story of every man and it’s hard not to put yourself and your own situation into it,” he said. “I believe that’s what makes it a believable and warm story. The only prerequisite is to love someone enough to be completely frustrated.”

For Lyman, the story is very attractive because it helps solve a mystery.

“I think we tend to think we are the only couples going through all of this,” he said. “If you see other couples laughing at the same stuff, then it is funny to you too. It is simple. I love watching a guy show up in blue jeans on a Sunday and his wife comes with him and he’s pissed about being there and at the end he’s up laughing.”

Lyman has been entertaining people for a long time.

“I went to school in Colorado and it was there that I fell into the theater department,” he said. “It was probably to hang out with girls and be around them changing clothes, but we started an improve group and didn’t know anything about it. In Chicago I got to study with Second City and everything just sort of happened.”

He got the Caveman role in 2004, and he feels he’s been helped by his background, but his personal life has been a bigger deal in terms of his role in “Defending the Caveman.”

“It helps technically because there are some super technical parts and being from a comedy background I know how to pause the rhythm,” he said. “But what helped me the most was the relationship I’ve had with my wife all these years that has helped me more than being an actor. The show lives on the emotional part of a relationship. That’s where being married helps.”

And he does like what he sees of his audience.

“A little bit the message of the show is one of love so that’s something else I notice about this show,” he said. “At the end, I like to watch all the couples leave the theater arm in arm and hand in hand. It reminds us about why we fell in love. My wife remembers the details. That’s what makes the show fun for me.”